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How to Potty Train When Your Child Wants Diapers

Does your child demand their diapers instead of going in the potty? Follow the tips to move their toilet training along.

Potty training is hard, especially when your child keeps insisting on a diaper. This behavior can fuel anxiety and self-doubt among parents who are actively encouraging toddlers to use the toilet. It can also create confusion when trying to choose the best potty training method. Adult Baby Print Diaper

How to Potty Train When Your Child Wants Diapers

So what's the trick to handling a child who just can't quit the diapers? Start by understanding their reasoning, then implement a solution catered to their needs. Here, we break down exactly how to handle the situation.

Even if your child exhibits signs of potty training readiness, they still may cling to their diaper. As frustrating as this can be (for child and parent alike), it's very common and likely not intended as defiance. Here are some common reasons for a refusal to ditch diapers.

They're nervous about the change. Giving up the diaper, like any rite of passage while growing up, could feel genuinely upsetting for your child, and they might cling to the comfort of their routines. For that reason, parents should acknowledge when their child no longer tolerates a wet or dirty diaper, and use this as an opportunity to push them out of their comfort zone with potty training.

They're worried about failure. Another reason a child might prefer a diaper is that they worry about disappointing you (or themselves) with accidents. That's why it's helpful—and good for a child's self-esteem— to focus on the successes instead of failures.

They're stubborn. Stubbornness may also play a part—and that's OK. Young children learn by testing boundaries and build independence by making their own decisions. Power struggles are par for the course when implementing new routines, teaching new skills, or altering expectations. Adapting to letting go of diapers is no different.

They might have other reasons. Children might resist potty training because they still want to be your "baby." They may like the design imprinted on their diapers (a problem solved by providing equally enticing big-kid pants). Or, they might just like getting a rise out of you—and your attention. No matter what, it's important to find the source of the resistance. Once they feel heard and their concerns are aired, you'll likely see greater compliance with your potty training plan.

For your child to get rid of diapers, they must be ready for potty training. There are no hard-and-fast rules for timing, but the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says many toddlers begin potty training between 2 and 3 years of age. Most kids are "bowel and bladder trained" by age 4.

You'll know when your child is developmentally ready to work toward this skill when they regularly show the typical signs. Look out for the following indicators of potty training readiness:

We wish we could say there's a potty training solution that magically gets all kids to enthusiastically swap out their diapers for the toilet. But the fact is, you'll discover more ways to potty train than you can probably imagine. Parents should accept that each child will respond differently to these tactics—and you won't necessarily know which one will "click" until you try.

For example, you might consider using potty training pants, videos, songs, rewards, or positive reinforcement. Your child might respond well to hourly (or more) trips to the toilet, or they could fare better going completely bottomless for a few days.

Essentially, the transition from diapers to underpants is not a one-solution-fits-all scenario. Honoring personal preference, timing, and comfort (for both the child and parent) is key, and it will help in your quest to wean your toddler off their diapers.

Loving patience—combined with holding firm to your objectives—tends to work wonders. Here are some tips for potty training a child who refuses to give up diapers.

When your child has an inevitable accident, don't punish them or react with exasperation. Simply tell them that it's time to get cleaned up and help them through it. Use phrases like, "Good try," "Potty training is hard work," and "You really tried hard...I bet next time you'll make it to the potty." Instill self-confidence and pride in your child to convey that you believe in their future success.

If you believe your child's reliance on diapers is getting in the way of toilet training, consider making them off-limits. This approach works best if you're following an intensive potty training method that involves spending several days focused exclusively on using the bathroom. You'll want to remove the diapers from sight (keep them in a cabinet with a safety lock, for example) to limit temptations and reminders.

You might set also aside designated times when your child can use diapers, such as during naps or outings. If your kid has trouble switching between diapers and underwear, though, it may work better to rely on thick training pants, fewer fluids in the evening hours, and a protective covering on the bed.

When your child asks (or wails) for a diaper when you want them to use the potty, try very calmly and firmly directing them to use the potty. Remind them that diapers are for bedtime only (or whatever your policy is).

That said, it's worth considering if your child's persistent demands for diapers may mean they're not quite ready to potty train. If you're unsure, review the readiness cues, and consider trying again in a month or two. Giving your child some extra time and space may result in a faster, more positive potty training experience when you're both ready to try again.

It may feel like your child will never willingly abandon diapers, but if you stick with it, they'll be wearing (reliably clean and dry) big-kid underpants soon enough. Some kids take days to master this skill, while others may take months or longer. Positive reinforcement and enthusiasm can keep you both on track

The Right Age to Potty Train. American Academy of Pediatrics. Updated 2022.

Toilet Training: Common Questions and Answers. Am Fam Physician. 2019.

How to Potty Train When Your Child Wants Diapers

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